Photo Caption: Remember kids, It Could Always Be WORSE
Another addition of as my lovely wife likes to say “TYPICAL RUSTY”
Let me set the scene: a hip restaurant in Soho (downtown NYC). On the menu of this Tapas Bar is EVERYTHING. Yes, that’s everything on the menu brought to your table randomly, and in waves…We order some wine, some sangria…and EVERYTHING. Note: The guest count: 7 (5 colleagues, 2 clients). This is my first big business dinner with my new department…The presentations prior were killer, so this meal was a celebration of my labors…of everyone’s hard labors…
The meal is going great. Im having great conversations with the clients sitting next to me (Its important for you know where Im positioned at the table: Im sitting at the head of the table). So, I was heavily involved in ‘table management’ as I like to say when playing Ping-Pong with my little brother.
The plates of food were flying around the table…I was obliged to put the empty plates on a wide ledge next to me. So, when the plate made its way around the table, and everyone got a bite, I would put the plate to my left…A wide ledge perfect for the used plates.
About 3/4 into this meal the OH SH*T moment occurs: As I glide one of the empty plates to the ledge, I clip the wine glass in front of me…THIS IS WHEN TIME FROZE. I literally was able to look at everyone’s face around the table as the glass was falling. I felt like a white collar ax-men…except this was no forest, this was a business dinner.
The glass was filled with red wine…now on its way down like a 150 year old tree in the forest, with no regard for who or what is below…Did I mention the grandson of the founder of this world-wide known chain was in the path of this wine? yeah…he was…
If it makes any of you feel better it looked A LOT worse then it was…but perception is the author of most stories…who cares about facts when they just blur the greatness of this story? After my attempt at cleaning him off in the bathroom I get back to the table to face the utter destruction I clearly just caused.
Here is where it got fun for me…The second executive says she wants to talk to me…she pulls me aside and starts to bombard me with “DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS? DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT JUST HAPPENED?” HOW ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE THIS BETTER?”
I was being attacked with no defense…My only solution was to offer to leave with my head down and my phone browser set to Monster.com…that’s how bad I felt. That’s how bad it was…. But then it occurs to me? IS THIS WOMAN MESSING WITH ME?
I had nothing to loose…I threw that out there…”Are you messing with me?” I ask once…no reply…I then DEMAND TO KNOW: ARE YOU MESSING WITH ME?
She admits it: Yes, I’m messing with you…I look back at the table.
All 5 left at the table were IN TEARS they were laughing so hard…Yeah…Not Funny…
